"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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