She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
