Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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