just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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