Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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