I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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