Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
