Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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