It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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