I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize