she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
