Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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