Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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