Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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