im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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