But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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