two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
