you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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