he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
