Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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