Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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