So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
