the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
