Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
