worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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