i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
