PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
