I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
