I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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