Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
