there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
