I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
