I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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