Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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