Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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