Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
