Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
