Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
