I'm really into asian looking animals
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
