cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize