no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
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Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
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He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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