he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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