i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
