you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
