I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
