I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
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It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
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we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize