I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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