just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
