Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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