that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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