no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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