I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
