make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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