i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
