you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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