you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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