Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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