3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
