I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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